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Man Up!
Now is the time for all good men to … build a man cave. And here’s how.
By Richard McKann
For millions of years, men lived in caves. The furniture was simple, effective and easy to clean. The cave was decorated with pictures of the man’s choosing, usually showing large animals he had fought, killed and eaten. All was for the sake
of function and comfort.
Then woman was invited in. She put up curtains and told us to wipe our feet and put the toilet seat down. Thus man was domesticated and the cave was eventually lost.
But a new era has risen. Woman has become tired of man making a mess of what she has, with love and devotion, created. Thus the age of the man cave is upon us.
Let’s build one!
Sofa. This is the most essential part of the room. This is not just a place to sit, but a place to cheer, relax, celebrate and, when you have spoken out of turn, sleep. Though most would choose leather, I advise against it. Cloth is cooler in the summer and warm in the winter. Scotchgard must be applied to prevent the inevitable stains. No sofa less than 8 feet long should even be considered. Love seats are for parlors, not man caves. Make sure to cover your new seat of solitude with a blanket from your favorite team or motorcycle company.
Large TV. I know what you are thinking: 85-inch, rear projection with 3D capability. Good but expensive. And why limit ourselves to 85 inches. I want a digital projector! The price of projectors has dropped considerably, and I can make the players life-size for around $650. Hang the screen from the ceiling to keep the rest of the room open, and use plastic wire molding to run cables for the cable box, DVD, gaming system and computer. All the room the TV otherwise would take up is now free, and movies are movie-size. (Note: Make sure to check on the life span of the bulb in your projector and price of replacement.)
A table. I want a wagon-wheel table. I have looked, and they are few and far between. So I looked back at my younger years and remembered the spool. No, I am not kidding. You have to go to an electrical supply house to find a spool the size you want. Now you have a heavy, very durable blank to build a table out of. The wood is great and, after about an hour with a vibrating sander, beautiful. Add a cherry stain (or whatever matches your sofa wood), and the personality starts to take form. Add casters with locking wheels to the bottom so the table can be moved and locked into place. All that’s left is to cover it with copper sheeting on the top (available in home improvement shops in roofing repair). You now have a man table suitable for eating, playing cards or just putting your feet up.
The bar. For this, I need to show off.
Step 1: First we need an aluminum toolbox, one of the big ones that go in the back of a pickup truck. Fortunately, plenty are so thin I would never use them for a toolbox, but for our purposes they are perfect.
Step 2: Next we need legs. The pipe threading section of your home improvement shop should be able to thread 3-foot pieces of 2-inch pipe and sell you bolt flanges for each end on each pipe.
Step 3: Bolt these to the bottom of the toolbox, making sure to use stainless steel bolts, nuts and washers. (Note: Make sure you use a rubber washer on the inside for water tightness.) Drill an inch and a quarter in the center of the toolbox, and insert an old-fashioned sink plug.
Step 4: Attach a section of galvanized barn siding to the legs on the front and back. Now, not only do you have a bar to be proud of, but it can be used as a cooler — and with locks, you can rest assured no one will pilfer your bar stock.
Your man cave is complete.
Go! Rest! Enjoy!
And then invite the ladies in to share a movie.
Richard McKann, a home improvement contractor, is the host of WRVA Radio’s “Home Improvement” show from 10 a.m. to noon Saturdays. Contact him at
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